It’s not all bad, make this, eat this, shut up.

I don’t want to be the guy that’s always doom and gloom, so here’s something nice, a recipe for a sauce that will blow your Grandmaw’s trash out of the water, a sickeningly unhealthy, glorious, French-born monstrosity that you can pull out next thanksgiving and say;

‘Take that bottled shit off of the table, Mom, I’m the fuckin’ boss here.’

If you like to eat healthily, if your body is a temple, then go away. This isn’t for you. That’s not what lifes about.
Don’t even tell your Doctor about this, they’re going to look at you and say;

‘You’re going to eat this? What are you, a fucking idiot?’

But fuck them, its 2026, what do they know about what you want to put in your mouth.

Take –
500 grams of butter
500 Grams of preferably dark, but light, if that’s all you got, brown sugar
1000Ml of heavy cream

The great thing about this, is no matter what ridiculous, backwards measurement system you use, it will always work, if you use the same amount in sugar and butter, and then the whole amount in heavy cream.

What you want to do is –
Melt the butter in a large pot
Add the sugar
Stir on low heat until its all one dark brown sludge, with no grease or liquid
Slowly pour in all the cream, while stirring.
Cook on low, simmering heat for 2-4 minutes.

Do that, do that and eat it while its still hot enough to burn your lips.
Do that, then put it in the refrigerator and wait until its cold so you can scoop it out with a spoon and stuff it in your mouth, in the dark in the middle of the night, listening to AI music on Spotify, while your kids are upstairs being recruited into a right-wing death-cult on Roblox, and you can hear government agencies chasing minorities around the neighbourhood outside with a big net.

Do that, and then when Sam Altman’s AI powered blood-demons are working their way down the list, knocking on doors, you can just say;

‘Shut your mouth, I don’t care about Baal, have you fucking tasted this? It’s incredible.’