I haven’t commented on the strange things hitting the headlines for a little while, for a few reasons, but to say the least, there are just too fucking many, at this point.
I took a little vacation, knowing the ridiculous things we’re seeing in the world would be right there, when I got back, and there they were, with plenty of new friends.
So, in no particular order, let’s recap on some of the boggling things that have happened recently, and once more ask ourselves, what the fuck is going on, here?
Washington’s planned ‘Arc De Trump’ is now also going to be a monstrous military complex of ‘drones and snipers.’ Fun to see the eye of Sauron get the Walmart gold-flake treatment, I guess? At the very least, they can shoot any algae-beasts, born of the enraged souls of vengeful patriots, that rise from the reflective-swamp, in a timely fashion. I don’t know what that means for the rest of the city, really. Is two years enough time to get all this done? doubtful. Whoever comes next, to empty coffers and burning flags, can pass around a hat or something, maybe get it finished up.
The FBI, for the first time, is allowing people previously embroiled in theft, solicitation or fucking animals into their ranks, a bizarre choice which I can only assume means they are about to start hiring FBI agents the same way they hire ICE agents.
The googly-eyed chud in charge, or the ‘GECIC’ if you will, Kash Patel, stomped his little drunk feet and batted his froggy eyes in tantrum before congress, when confronted about his fact based, factual, evidential fuck-ups, misuses, misappropriations, deviances, dumbness and downfalls during his time in the high-chair.
Again, it was all fake news, it was Bidens fault, or fake news, or Biden. No questions were truly answered. A pathetic rat snuffles cheese, while old men grumble, and nothing happens.
The free press has been exiled from The Whitehouse, meaning there were no available microphones to capture the sounds of the president wiping his ass with the 1st amendment, amidst the rubble of the south lawn.
It’s been a whirlwind for Hegseth, announcing laser-guns, going loco on the cocaine in Venezuela then getting impeached in less then two months, I eagerly await the Nolan biopic that is surely in the works, I hope Rowan Atkinson lives long enough to play the role.
A one-eyed torture-pornographer’s card-house of horrors, mismanaged by his crackhead son after death, has came toppling down, in Philadelphia. It would appear the father-son duo had been engaging in a plethora of exactly the dark, disgusting things you’re thinking they were, with over a million images recovered and five women still missing.
It has also come to light, this hellish home, is positively connected to a mortuary that was investigated and shut down for the trafficking, misuse and abuse of corpses and their attached parts. Networks of despicable human beings, operating under the surface of bureaucracy. An American institution.
Epstein is still in the news, in drips and drabs, like misheard echoes from the bottom of a well. Nothing is being done about it, and likely never will, really.
Congress subpoenaed Leon Black, and he fucking sued congress.
No-one will ever truly pay; you heard it here last.
The Iran ‘operation, engagement, crisis, excursion, shenanigan’ or whatever else they call it instead of war, so they don’t need to pay fees or something, doesn’t seem to be going very well. A visibly demented Trump just waffled some of his waffliest waffle, in front of the UN in New York. While struggling to stand, or speak, or stop his face from stroking out, with drool pooling in his mouth, he masturbated his demented ego in front of the leaders of the free world. Cuba walked out, a wasted journey, it would appear. Iran should have but didn’t, because they appear to be the bigger man, in this situation.
America’s economy is the envy of the world.
Newsnation, a publication I find less trustworthy by the day, has reported on a lot of things recently that would be absolutely huge, if true.
They aired the exclusive on a video of a dead sasquatch, giving it far too much credence and essentially asking no further questions. They’ve told the world AI is coming to kill us. Not the only ones, mind you. Newsnation seem to the be the only person talking about the ‘direct-energy weapon’ the US recently stole/recovered from Russia.
Apparently, the risk of adversarial energy weapons being used on the American populus in America is higher than ever. The expert, brought on to discuss this, warned newsnation that ‘Havana Syndrome’ has started occurring on US soil.
Interesting, was the whole ‘Havana syndrome’ conspiracy proven to be the Russians? I was pretty sure it had been proven to be someone else…
There were more ‘UFO files’ disclosed, like a wet fart into a Shark vacuum, on turbo.
An audio recording of some Airforce egg-heads and a miserly old man, talking about strange things in the sky. Why was it recorded? Who knows? Who gives a shit, at this point?
The UFO disclosure community has become some kind of MLM marketing, right-wing, influencer backed propaganda/brainrotting machine, full of wannabe heroes.
The next time I will pay attention to this community, is when the news breaks that Jeremy Corbell has finally, inevitably, snapped, and the worlds lamest, most boring and stereotypical hostage situation is playing out live, exclusively, on Newsnation, with Ross Coulthart.
Trump is trying to sell a strip of protected land in a National Park to his buddy, so they can flatten it and use it as a private road to and from the park, but he must only be lucid about six or seven minutes a day and he can’t open a diet coke without federal judges trying to deny the motion, so it will happen, but at least it will take a while.
The entire food-chain seems to be compromised. Mystery beef, previously denied entry to the kingdom of China, is being bought in soggy paper bags off the back of an Argentinian truck, made in Germany, by Trump and his administration, to trickle down into supermarkets. Don’t eat rice, salad, canned goods, packaged goods, dry goods, meat, shellfish, poultry, dairy, confectionary, or use eye-drops, mouthwash, or painkillers and you’ll be ok.
Most countries in Europe are scaremongering their population into believing Russia is going to attack NATO, and they will have to go to war.
Russia doesn’t know why they are telling people this, but wishes they would, if they think they are hard enough, because Russia.
Hunter Biden, the crackhead messiah, dethroned himself, by doing a crypto pump-and-dump merely hours after finally becoming cool, meaning the wobbly-brain curse that haunts his family will carry on to the next generation.
The Paul brothers made an appearance at the Pentagon, for reasons entirely unknown by any of the critical decision-makers working there. The two men, more accurately described as idiots, or problematic and soulless buffoons, featured in a pointless, ‘Call of Duty’ inspired propaganda piece. A Top-Gun roleplay situation, that showed them walking slowly down corridors and standing around. The critical failure of the entire operation lay in the deployment. Neither of the brothers are capable of intelligent speech.
The one that does wrestling, or something, the podcaster, the youtuber, most famously, the corpse-disturber, stood before people we are to assume are soldiers or some such, to deliver an incredibly generic, dead and trivial speech. It sounded like something you would hear at a high-school 4th of July presentation, and added nothing, to anything.
The other one, the square-headed one with the combover and the anabolic rage, he just stood there, mostly. There were no athletes with real credentials he could pay to lose to him, there were no children to poison with outrageously priced chemical-laden slop.
However, now that he has been welcomed to the treasury department, by the secretary, he can probably get involved in some embezzlement or fraud or the like, the brothers love that, they have a wealth of experience in that department.
Erika Kirk is doing secret, mandatory-attendance presentations at private schools for rich Christian kids. She has such a wealth of kindness in her heart, to take the time from her busy schedule of dancing on her husband’s grave and running his empire into the ground, just to radicalise and brainwash the next generation of right-wing elitists.
Candace Owens lives, though she makes it harder for herself every-day, by simply being correctly suspicious of one of the most suspicious webs of events that ever webbed.
Trump has issued the golden decree, that henceforth, artificial intelligence shall be thusly renamed, ‘super intelligence.’
This is most likely related to the other news, that America does not regard the AI generation of CSAM materials to be a crime.
Hyrox have a dirty fetish, but only for abrasive white women.
Sydney Sweeney isn’t allowed to molest the sporting equipment until she wins a medal of some kind in its field. What the fuck does Gaga know about cameras?
Harry Potter is making waves, not because of She Who Shall Not Be Named and her racism, Zionism or general unlikability, not even for the casting, just because it looks shit. Our eyes have been bigger than our belly, again, haven’t they? We would be kind enough to feed the husk of The Lord Of The Rings, cowering under the table, bountiful scraps from the infinite delights on the dining tables of the great Hogwarts, but there doesn’t appear to fucking be any. I could not, in 100,000 words, explain to you the failure, futility, or weight of the generational mistake we are making by consuming this garbage, and what that really means for our society, our future, our very souls. Luckily, a single still-frame recently released as promotional material, a picture of the new Harry Potter himself, will do it in one fell swoop. Look at that table, at the plate, look at it in the eye. You can’t, can you? Coward.
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